The
Australian Grand Prix was a corker, was it not?
Channel 9 did their usual masterful job as host
network and Australians can now resume the air of
resignation foisted upon us by shoddy late night
coverage.
Didn't
Eddie Irvine spice things up nicely? We now had a
spectacle on our hands as we realised Williams had
once again fluffed it on strategy. Apart from the
obvious (hiring Heinz-Harald Frentzen) they went for
two stops instead of one, picked the wrong
tyre and obviously picked the wrong brake disc. Back
to the bad old days of 1995. I could just imagine
Damon Hill popping his head out of the garage to give
the Williams boys a smirk and a friendly wave. After
all he wasn't expected to win like a Williams was.
The
winners of the weekend? Let's see. Damon Hill won the
hearts of us all as he battled to get the
Arrows-Yamaha pig on the grid. He wrestled, he
raunched, he put up a damn good fight and won the
war. At least the throttle stuck off rather than on
during the warm-up lap. Then again, the Yamaha sucks,
so maybe it didn't matter either way. David Coulthard
gave the field a lesson in staying cool, calm and
collected with a Ferrari in the mirrors and made
everyone smile at the finish. And Jacques Villeneuve
- boy, can he hustle. Apart from playing the hard-man
at the start and handing Eddie the chance to help
Herr Schumacher to the front, he did nothing wrong
and has Heinz-Harald packing death. This, however,
does not mean I like him!
The
losers? Frentzen, Frentzen and Frentzen. He lost the
mind battle with Villeneuve, lost the driver battle
when he simply refused to pull his finger out and get
that Williams roaring. Nobody, feels particularly
sorry for him (except him) because he hardly went out
in a blaze of glory. He just sputtered to a stop and
had the added ignominy of some fluid spraying him as
the car lay stricken in the kitty-litter. And
finally, Frentzen. Williams are picking up where they
left off in 1995 and just might manage to lose the
constructor's championship with a driver who is being
bullied quite comprehensively by his team-mate.
Frentzen is an easy target as he is psychologically
fragile compared to the 1996-model Damon Hill.
Actually,
Jean Alesi is a big loser. I don't quite know how
much of a loser Jean Alesi is (I reckon Flavio
Briatore is very aware) but he must be his own worst
enemy. He claimed he lost radio contact (despite the
fact we saw him sitting talking to his pits when he
finally cruised to a halt) and felt silly. I bet he
felt sillier after Flavio was finished with him. The
very fact that he ignored his pit-board (you know,
the large black thing they hang over the side telling
him IN.) What must the pit-board
have said? "Turn it up!" or "Why are
you ignoring us you idiot?" The body language of
the pit crew said it all, although he probably didn't
recognise who they were when he plucked up the
courage to come back to the pits. "Who are you
again? Roger, is it?"
Could do
better? Well, no-one really. The two new
teams were poles
apart. Lola were abysmal (we won't say why, now, will
we?) and Stewart highly impressive considering they
had Ford works engines letting them down - where have
we heard that before? Rubens Barrichello showed his
usual early-season enthusiasm, but you know the old
story. Once Jan gets up to speed (and he will), we'll
see the sooky Rubens of old. Poor old Jos Verstappen
(to quote Murray Walker) could always do better and
Jordan-Peugeot are always first in line to receive
the "could-do-better" talk. Never mind.
Maybe one day.
All in
all, a great start to the season for Formula One.
Some teams and drivers are not so happy, but I'm damn
sure the punters were reasonably satisfied. It was a
race and a good one at that and the sport has got to
be happy with itself. Hopefully, when Jacques clears
off into the distance (discounting Eddie's start-line
antics) we'll be treated to the racing behind the
Williams pair.
What
the papers said:
The
Sydney Morning Herald had a big front page colour
photo of an airborne Jos Verstappen as well as a
three photo series of Villeneuve and Herbert spinning
into oblivion. A fairly average race report in the
sport section completely failed to give Jean Alesi
the bollocking he deserved. Kennedy's report was
given generous space and gave the reader a good feel
for the type of day it was.
The
Telegraph Mirror gave us a warm and fuzzy type
report, the back page showing an elated Mika Hakkinen
hoisting David Coulthard into the air. The report was
average, again failing to hammer people who deserved
it, barely even mentioning the disgrace that was TWR
Arrows' performance, giving Damon Hill a completely
dud car.
The
Australian (national) followed the SMH, front page
and all. Same old same old with regard to the
reports. Altogether nothing very special from the
print media.
TV made
the usual balls-up. Stuffing up names, apportioning
blame where it wasn't due, the whole bit. The usual
cavalcade of glamorous, leggy and busty reporters who
didn't know a lot, or tired old hacks staggering
toward the end of their contract. Channel 10 was the
usual saviour, both in the news bulletin and the
nightly Sports Tonight program which had
carried the passable Mika Hakkinen story in the
lead-up to the race.
Peter
Anderson : petera@one.net.au
